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This podcast is about divorce. It's about understanding the emotional and physical spaces that we go through, specifically in the first six months of the process. But to understand "the why” of this conversation, let me invite you into my story and why it began. 


It was the start of Covid-19 and I was registered into an online course. My divorce had just been finalized and I was healing, I was in a good frame of mind, but I wasn't happy about the process. Upon my first meeting with my coach, she challenged me to post something on social media that was extremely personal and would make me vulnerable to the world. It was an odd request, but fit perfect with what her course was and where I was in the process. When I settled into the request, I knew I would be talking about my divorce. Afterall, it was the thing in my life which I had suppressed and not really shared with anyone outside my circle and I wanted to make a difference around divorce.


Prior to pressing the button and going live on Facebook, I was confronted with a variety of things. I felt shame, I was insecure and I had an overbearing fear of being judged. I was going to put something out into the world that was not a positive message, nor was it showing me strong.  Every part of me searched for an excuse to not do this. Mainly because I was attached to looking like I had it all together. 


It was my commitment that pushed the button to go live that night. I had said I would do it, and so I did. What happened in those next moments changed my life. When it was over, I remember sighing deeply as the weight of who I thought I was had been released. The anxiety had ceased and all that remained was an empty canvas waiting to be painted on. The canvas was my future and it was now blank and ready for me. In that moment where I stated it to the whopping 5 people that watched I gave up the constraints of looking like I had it all together.


Shortly after posting the video someone reached out to me privately and thanked me for sharing. They expressed how it made a difference for them. That message stirred me up and I knew that I wanted to say more.The more I thought about what to talk about, the more I uncovered all the unrest and anxiety that lingered around my first six months. As a result, I began to post anything and everything that had made a difference for me during that time. From the moment she spoke “I don’t know if I love you” till present day. I find myself talking about or creating around what didn't work about the process. Which inevitably opened up a whole new community of people who had also endured a divorce.


As I began to listen to others share their story, I started to understand how much power lives inside the sharing. Each time we tell our story, we loosen the negative grip it has on us. In speaking or listening, we contribute to others and in the process we dilute the significance of what happened. The stigma around the topic with each brave voice makes divorce more accessible and provides us with tools to begin creating again.


For me, speaking about what was missing, or what worked and didn't work about the process was uplifting. I had the ability to separate myself from being attached to the story. Breaking up the importance and significance I had assigned to it. Regaining my value and my power around relationship. Once you see it from a different perspective, it has less power over you. 

I am blown away by the success of the experiment that this podcast has caused and continues to cause each day. I can see my victories and my defeats and accept both equally without being held down by them. I see a future where speaking up has become an opportunity and not a burden. Where shining a light into this dark conversation has made healing way more accessible. With this perspective, the shame has gone and what I have stepped into is a place of contribution, where I can contribute and be contributed to.  


I never planned on being a voice for the divorced. When life gave me invitations to take action around the subject, I felt I wanted to transform it for myself. It was a slow start, but I did, and I'm glad I did. It was this conversation that has healed me the most. I find peace with each question asked and rest within the responses.


I can't imagine a world where I didn't participate in this conversation. It gets me out of bed in the morning and puts me to sleep at night knowing that so many have grown from the seeds planted inside these stories. 


So, now that you know why this podcast exists, now that you know a bit of my story. You know that it's about healing and being your best self when you are in the worst of times. Sometimes we may lose our way, but conversations like this help us remember who we were and what we want to be. I hope these words and the many spoken across the podcast make a difference for you.


BREAKDOWNS are the steps we take to reach our BREAKTHROUGH!  

-Peter Maestrey