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This podcast is about divorce. It's about understanding the emotional and physical spaces that some go through, specifically in the first six months of the process. But to understand "the why” of this conversation, let me invite you into my story and how it began. 


I wanted to make a difference around the subject of divorce. In was the start of Covid-19 and I was registered into an online course. Upon my first meeting with my coach, she challenged me to post something on social media that was extremely personal and would make me vulnerable to the world. When I settled into the request, I knew I would be talking about my divorce. Afterall, it was the thing in my life which I had suppressed and not really shared with anyone outside my circle. 


Prior to pressing the button and going live on Facebook, I was confronted with a variety of things. I felt shame, insecure and an overbearing fear of being judged. I was going to put something out into the world that was not a positive message, nor was it showing me strong. It would leave me vulnerable to the very thing I feared the most, which was judgement. Every part of me searched for an excuse to not do this.


I knew there was something there for me, that doing it could cause a breakthrough, but I still wrestled with sharing it. Mainly because I was attached to looking like I had it all together. 


It was my commitment that pushed the button to go live that night. I had said I would do it, and so I did. What happened in those next changed my life forever. When it was over, I remember sighing deeply as the weight of who I thought I was had been released. The anxiety had ceased and all that remained was an empty canvas waiting to be painted on. The canvas was my future.


I discovered I was the opposite of what I thought I was. I was positive, I was strong, and I was in control of my choices and what I stood for. Shortly after posting the video someone reached out to me privately and thanked me for sharing. They expressed how it made a difference for them. It was in that very moment that I knew I wanted to say more.

The more I thought about what to talk about, the more I uncovered all the unrest and anxiety that lingered around my first six months. As a result, I began to post anything and everything that had made a difference for me during that time. From the moment she spoke “I don’t know if I love you” till present day.


As I began to listen to others share their story, I started to understand how much power lives inside the sharing. Each time we tell our story we release the negative grip it has on us. We contribute to those listening, as well as, ourselves. The stigma around the topic is diluted with each brave voice that speaks up and gives their story volume.


For me, speaking about what was missing, or what worked and didn't work about the process of was uplifting to say the least. In sharing about my emotional journey, I had the  ability to separate from being attached to the story. Breaking up the importance and significance I had assigned to it.  Once you see it from a different perspective, it has less power over you. 

As I look back now, I am blown away by the success of the experiment. The truth, and the transformation that has become possible. I see my victories and my defeats. I see a future where speaking up is an opportunity and not a burden. With this perspective, the shame has gone and what I have stepped into is a place of contribution, where I can contribute and be contributed to.  


I never planned on being a voice for the divorced. When life gave me invitations to take action around the subject, I felt I wanted to transform it for myself. It was a slow start, but I did, and I'm glad I did. It was this conversation that has healed me the most. I find peace with each question asked and rest with within the responses.


I didn’t have to ask or plan to play in this game called divorce because the stories I hear and continue to listen to are so rewarding that I can't imagine a world where I didn't participate. It gets me out of bed in the morning and puts me to sleep at night. 


So, now that you know why this podcast exists, now that you know my story. You know that it's about healing and being your best self in the worst of times. Sometimes we may lose our way, but conversations like this help us remember who we were and what we want to be.


BREAKDOWNS are the steps we take to reach our BREAKTHROUGH!  

-Peter Maestrey